About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
