I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
There are leaves in my underwear?
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