I hate your face
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize