This is not my ceiling
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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