i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
