my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
