The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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