What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
