sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
