you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
