woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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