apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize