C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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