toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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