I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
