I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
you made out with another girl for some wings
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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