Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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