i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
