I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I've blown a few things in my day
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
