Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
