You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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