We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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