How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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