I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
