I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
