I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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