She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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