is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
