My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
