Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
