if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
