Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
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