I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
