well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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