yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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