I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
