Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
