Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
