Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
