Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
