So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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