margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
