My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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