somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
