Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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