He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
