Where did you get a picture of my penis
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
