he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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