grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Randomize
