So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
