There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
