Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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