Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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