he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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