FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
