weddingsv make me drug and hornr
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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