He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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