Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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