What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize