I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
