i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
