She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
