Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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