Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize