My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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