if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize