the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
pop tarts are not kleenex
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
