Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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