I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
