omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
