On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
