Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
