You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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